I come home from a six hour drive from Los Angeles back to my house and im fuckin hungry so im gonna make a quesadilla right and i sprinkle the fucking cheese on the tortilla right and i put it in the microwave except the microwaAVE ISNT THERE. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MICROWAVE WHERE THE FUCK IS IT SOMEONEN STOLE MY GODDAMNED MICROWAVE WHILE I WAS VACATIONING. MY TV IS STILL HERE EVERYTHING IS STILL HERE THEY STOLE MY GOIDAMNED MICROWVAE. ITS FUCKING GONE WHAT THE HELL I JUST WANT A GODAMNED MOTHEFUCKING QUESADILLA
Here’s some advice…. learn to use a stove. They taste better that way any way.
jokes on YOU i made thi s post up for notes how do you FEEL
- me: omg now I get it!
- friend: u get what?
- me: you know, when things heat, they expand
- friend: and?
- me: I'm not fat, I'm hot
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.
Canada’s time to shine has come
open up its the fbi
this dog looks like ryan gosling
i don’t know how i see it but i see it
During sex, surprise him with an extremely sexy orgasm moan by making the THX theme sound at the top of your lungs