Text 17 Apr 346,556 notes

blessthebutt:

my favorite flavor of cake is more

(Source: asscop)

Photo 17 Apr 129,844 notes vvhaleshark:

renners-chick:

vvhaleshark:

I come home from a six hour drive from Los Angeles back to my house and im fuckin hungry so im gonna make a quesadilla right and i sprinkle the fucking cheese on the tortilla right and i put it in the microwave except the microwaAVE ISNT THERE. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MICROWAVE WHERE THE FUCK IS IT SOMEONEN STOLE MY GODDAMNED MICROWAVE WHILE I WAS VACATIONING. MY TV IS STILL HERE EVERYTHING IS STILL HERE THEY STOLE MY GOIDAMNED MICROWVAE. ITS FUCKING GONE WHAT THE HELL I JUST WANT A GODAMNED MOTHEFUCKING QUESADILLA

Here’s some advice…. learn to use a stove. They taste better that way any way.

jokes on YOU i made thi s post up for notes how do you FEEL

vvhaleshark:

renners-chick:

vvhaleshark:

I come home from a six hour drive from Los Angeles back to my house and im fuckin hungry so im gonna make a quesadilla right and i sprinkle the fucking cheese on the tortilla right and i put it in the microwave except the microwaAVE ISNT THERE. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MICROWAVE WHERE THE FUCK IS IT SOMEONEN STOLE MY GODDAMNED MICROWAVE WHILE I WAS VACATIONING. MY TV IS STILL HERE EVERYTHING IS STILL HERE THEY STOLE MY GOIDAMNED MICROWVAE. ITS FUCKING GONE WHAT THE HELL I JUST WANT A GODAMNED MOTHEFUCKING QUESADILLA

Here’s some advice…. learn to use a stove. They taste better that way any way.

jokes on YOU i made thi s post up for notes how do you FEEL

Chat 17 Apr 119,386 notes
  • me: omg now I get it!
  • friend: u get what?
  • me: you know, when things heat, they expand
  • friend: and?
  • me: I'm not fat, I'm hot
Text 17 Apr 158,378 notes

drowningheta:

gallifreyburning:

giraffepoliceforce:

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

image

Canada’s time to shine has come
Photo 17 Apr 83,353 notes fantastico-extravaganza:

shemhazaile:

s00005aa55yah:

open up its the fbi

this dog looks like ryan gosling 

i don’t know how i see it but i see it

fantastico-extravaganza:

shemhazaile:

s00005aa55yah:

open up its the fbi

this dog looks like ryan gosling 

i don’t know how i see it but i see it

Photo 17 Apr 72,768 notes mangosmoothie7:

fileformat:

STOP

who fucking did this

mangosmoothie7:

fileformat:

STOP

who fucking did this

(Source: mesovideo)

via Untitled.
Video 17 Apr 10,799 notes

vinebox:

That laugh tho

via Untitled.
Text 17 Apr 7,366 notes Cosmo Sex Tip #31

superaunaturelle:

During sex, surprise him with an extremely sexy orgasm moan by making the THX theme sound at the top of your lungs

Photo 17 Apr 25,696 notes
via Untitled.
Video 17 Apr 70,691 notes

whalebiology:

ruinedchildhood:

Bikini Bottom just got real..

WHAT???


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